Flash Fiction 2nd Place: Is It Pronounced Shrewsbury or Shrewsbury? by Hannah Retallick
Outline:
Right so this is what I’m thinking: There’s a canal yeah? Nice and steady, calm and stuff, like how the sea could be if it wasn’t so uppity (1). Uppity’s Mum’s word for me. Probably means something nasty like always too fidgety. Anyway, canals. This one is in Shrewsbury. That’s the setting or whatever. I went once back in the day when my dad bothered bothering and it’s a proper nice place from what I can remember. Dead posh with these fancy shops selling stuff no one needs but everyone wants. Some old wonky buildings leaning over the streets like they’re having a good gossip (2) – might have made that up in my memory I don’t know. Anyway, the world’s super stressy isn’t it but how about this boat’s like library quiet and people just write in their journals, mooching along on the water, and no one yells to stop being uppity because that’s just not the vibe, peasants, and what if the girl sits with her journal and it’s leather-like and red with nothing written in it cos she’s not sure of her story yet but she’s tapping her pen and shaking her leg and some guy who’s handsome and whatnot looks at her kind. Picture her sitting cross-legged on this cushion thing probably nicked from someone’s garden furniture. Her hair’s all over the place because she forgot to brush it again and she’s wearing this massive jumper that’s well past its peak but it’s cosy. The boat’s got fairy lights strung up even though it’s daytime. The guy writes on his scrappy little notebook, tears out a page, drops it on her knee and it says ‘Do you have ADHD too?’ and she smiles because she probably does and no one believes her. It all goes from there. He’s got these understanding eyes, unlike every one of her teachers who stare at her like she’s doing it on purpose (3). His notebook’s falling apart, held together with tape and hope, covered in doodles and random words like her brain on paper. Maybe he’s an artist or something, another one who sees the world different. Anyway, proper fit guy, totally gets her, doesn’t go off on one whenever she’s not the perfect little angel. Never ever leaves her ever. Endgame. So that’s it really, a Shrewsbury Canal (4) romance. Apparently common people say Shrewsbury and the poshos say Shrewsbury and the only thing they agree on is that it’s worth getting uppity over. Mental eh? I’m gonna go with Shrewsbury (5).
8/10
- (1) Uppity means: ‘self-important; arrogant’.
- (2) Be wary of including unnecessary detail about the town, lest the word count run away from you.
- (3) Not every teacher, surely. One of them, at least, will be ready to have that conversation.
- (4) I have looked it up and discovered there is no longer a working canal, but knowing you, you will most likely insert one regardless.
- (5) It’s pronounced Shrewsbury.
