Flash Fiction 1st Place: Last, Best Hope in a Shade of Orange by Taria Karillion
From: Monitoring Commission Station 349
To: Audit Officer 56887A
You are assigned to audit the randomly selected subjects as detailed in the attached documents. Preliminary reports recommend the termination of subjects failing to meet quality standards.
_______________________
From: GN
To: SC, YF
So what’s with this Auditor? Management are as nervous as turkeys at Christmas. Rumours from other departments say he’s ‘eccentric’.
PS: New drinks machine on fourth floor. ABOUT TIME! All high-tech, gloss black with symbols instead of words. Will try it out in hope of rectifying the excess of blood in my chocolate stream.
From: SC
To: GN, YF
He’s been here all day, nosing around. Breathing down our necks and mumbling into a dictaphone without a word to us, like we’re not worthy! Reckon the evil overlords at HQ are out to give some of us the chop?
From: GN
To: SC, YF
I’ve only heard him muttering at the drinks machine in some foreign language. I tell you he is *weird* – I don’t like his shifty eyes (Excuse me, the Eighties just called, they’d like their coloured contact lenses back!) What a POSER.
And talk about Orange – it’s like one of those old Tango adverts! #worstfaketanonearth
From: YF
To: GN, SC
Ouch! Don’t be so catty! Ok, fake tan & funky contacts not so great, but maybe he’s a shortsighted ballroom dancer? U never know if u don’t make an effort 2 B friendly! Let’s ask him 2 join us 4 coffee break? Go on, ladies, I dare you! Play nice for once?
From: GN
To: SC, YF
Not bloody likely. I prefer my cappuccino *without* a garnish of eavesdropping weirdo!
Speaking of coffee – that damn machine is *still* out of order – I don’t think it’s worked properly since it arrived!!
From: SC
To: GN, YF
Sounds like *you*, G! Hahaha!
I know what you mean, though – I think he’s been listening in to my calls! Creepy, interfering busybody!
From: YF
To: GN, SC
U r mean girlies! He was here earlier and I saw him pick up all the courier’s dropped parcels, listen 2 the cleaner’s snotty ramblings, fix the wonky hand dryer in the gents & even water the dying plants …bless! I shared my tea flask with him and showed him how 2 high 5, and he actually smiled back! Maybe he just doesn’t get out much?
Now I’m off 2 thump the drinks machine until it gives me hot chocolate 🙂
From: HR, Head Office
To: All Staff
Please accept our apologies for the delay in sending our Auditor – her visit has been rescheduled for next week.
From: Audit Officer 56887A
To: Monitoring Post 349
Final audit of randomly selected subjects complete.
Contrary to initial reports, some evidence of sustained benevolence has been found.
Recommend suspension of Malevolent Species Termination Order.
Urgent request: Inter-dimensional transport pod in need of immediate repair – critical damage sustained to outer hull by indigenous life-forms believing it to be a beverage dispenser.
